In the dating world, it’s easy to become picky about other people and their characteristics. Similarly, it’s easy to worry about what others think of us. Both considerations are important to an extent, as it shows we have standards that we hold ourselves and others to. But when it comes down to it, the relationship we have with ourselves should be our first priority. Clichés like, “You need to love yourself before you can love another person,” or, “Your partner should complement you, not complete you,” don’t exist in vain – they are existential because the relationship you have with yourself affects your relationships with others. Hence why becoming the best version of yourself will create a strong foundation for a happy and healthy relationship and dating life. What might this look like?
- Get to Know Yourself
Everyone has their reasons for dating, but it usually boils down to wanting a future with someone – and shouldn’t that bigger picture look happy? Of course, there are always unforeseen challenges and compromises to be made; Nonetheless, you should still have an unwavering commitment to the things you hold dear, like your aspirations and ambitions. Do you have a desire to travel? Have kids? Pursue a higher education? Start to identify your dreams, your wants, and your needs. Then, define your personal values, such as honesty, respect, faith, et cetera. When you live by your musts, you will remain true to yourself without compromising your happiness and as a result, find someone with a similar outlook on life.
- Learn from past Experiences
Part of getting to know yourself involves learning from your past. Think back to where you or a partner fell short during previous relationships or dates. Do poor communication skills, unhealthy attachment styles, or intimacy insecurities ring a bell? Bad habits can cause some people to cancel dates or stop pursuing the relationship altogether. So a major key to a successful romance is to set boundaries and communicate them. To do so, recognize your own strengths and weaknesses as a romantic partner, as well as red flags and deal breakers in potential partners. If you’re having trouble in a particular area, such as working through insecurities or intimacy issues, it doesn’t hurt to recruit some outside help. Check out brands like hers, whose Instagram page offers a one-stop spot for solutions and inspiration for better sexual health and overall well-being.
- Enhance Your Self-Worth and Boost Your Confidence
Self-improvement doesn’t mean completely overhauling who you are. Sometimes it means embracing yourself and showing yourself some TLC. After all, confidence is sexy! So visit the salon for a new haircut or color before a date. Or buy a new outfit that you feel comfortable and fabulous in. Whatever you choose, just remember not to change who you are at heart. And don’t feel pressure to pretend to be somebody that you’re not. It can help to list out your favorite qualities about yourself and repeat them, so you know what you bring to the table. Don’t forget to embrace your quirks – the right person will love them!
“Unbelievable” comes on the radio as you scramble to grab your cassette tape to record the chart-topper.
This month, It’s Just Lunch is celebrating 30 years of first dates and success stories.
Whether you're thinking about jumping into the virtual dating game for the first time, or you're experienced and just looking to up your game, it's